a Fun photo shoot with Kevin M. in America's Finest City!

Well, well, well...what a Fun weekend! Kevin is so cool, so much fun to be able to do this his first 'provacative photo shoot'.

We started off as I often do to get to know him, we played frisbee at Balboa Park.

He's pretty damn good at it too! It's amazing how many people don't even know how to throw a round piece of plastic, LOL

Location, location, location...as they say in the 'Movie business'! We photographed around my favorite spots in North & Southpark...at the bridges, my good friend's house as well...here are a few images from our day, hope you enjoy!

The weekend in a mirror...

Wow, it's 2010 already!!! This is an image from me and Scottie's weekend...it was Christmas, he's homeless in Hollywood...came to Cali to be a Model, from Tennessee.

Me, well...you know my story.

We had so much fun, a highlight was going to see Tom Ford's new film opening Christmas...it's A Single Man. AWESOME, gotta check it out!!!

It was so nice to spend time with Scottie, to relax and just have fun. Before I took him to catch his Greyhound Bus back to Hollywood, he talked to the camera...told his story in brief, 'wearing briefs', lol...but it was moving, compelling and real.

I love this guy, he's cool...a good Kid, just can't go home...it ain't so good for him there.

Let's all love more, try not to hate, embrace life...bless people, make art & make love!!!

~T

It's been awhile...

For those of you following this blog, it's been awhile...so I thought I'd better check in. Just as soon as I picked up my cameras again, I put them back down. In about 2, 3 weeks I plan on doing another photo shoot...with this young man that's really cool, we've been planning for several months now. (This photo-set is Zander, by the way.)

Tonight I saw the documentary called: Horse Boy

A truly lovely story of this family with an autistic son, they travel to Mongolia and meet with several Shamans...miraculously he's much better once they return to their home in Texas.

Also tonight I got text messages from a young Model on a Greyhound Bus, headed to California with no money, no place to stay...in search of his dream. He wants so very much to do a shoot with me, wants to be in my documentary as well. Wow, I need an 'Artists Commune' or something I guess.

It's such a beautiful day, now evening...good food, movie and now sitting at LeStat's...watching all this 'humanity'. Two beautiful teenage boys, obviously attracted to each other, visiting in a safe environment, others on their laptop computers, people in motorised wheelchairs, goths, nerds, a variety of races, body types etc, etc, etc.

It's been difficult, this year for sure...losing Bray in August, was a real blow to my emotions and how I view the World. I so much need to finish this film, my documentary...hopefully we'll have enough funding soon to be able to go into post-production by Spring of 2010...not very far away. I can promise, you've never, ever seen a bio-pic/art documentary like this one...it ain't your average Picture, people!

Enough saying hello and checking in with the WorldWideWeb community...carry on!

~Terry

I'm 'Back In The Saddle'

It was truly alarming, learning of Bray's death recently...wasn't sure, didn't feel like taking anymore pictures or finishing my documentary. Meeting and getting to know and in a way, falling in love with these young, vibrant and dangerous Souls...it's a tax on the mind and emotions are in full play.

So, the past 3 weekends I've taken up my camera and recorded and celebrated new friends' life, love and expression. Irving came from Guadalajara 3 weeks ago, I picked him up downtown and he spent the night with me here in San Diego...we photographed and he talked with me on-camera in the Hotel room, reminiscent of my time with Bray...but this time this young man joined together with me in a brief conversation about someone I loved dearly, someone...now lost to the ages.

These past two weekends I've photographed and interviewed Zander, an 18yr old boy from the UK. I so love to hear him talk, it's music to my ears...so full of life and enjoying his California Dreaming! Friday, August 28th I picked him up at the Train Station in Oceanside. We had so much fun, shooting in various planned and random locations throughout the city. We enjoyed listening to Hendrix on cd as we drove home to his cousins in Santa Clarita...

Then, a week later he receives the cd of images we'd taken and he Facebook messaged me and said he wanted to be in my documentary, to be interviewed. So, though it was labor day weekend, I drove up to meet with him at Zuma Beach in Malibu. We again were so happy to be together, soaking up the sun and enjoying a brief time of relaxing and lounging on the sand. The interview took place under a near by bridge and we also shot a roll of B & W stills...so dirty and dangerous was our location, we both loved it...so refreshing and spontaneous!

Again it was time to say goodbye, a slight embrace of my beautiful friend...then to the car and another long drive on the Pacific Coast Highway...then the 10 to the 405. I was happy, revived...now, I feel as though I am truly, "Back in the Saddle"...free once again to enjoy life, to freely express, embrace, engage in living this gift of my life.

SILK STOCKINGS

I just finished watching the film, SILK STOCKINGS on TCM. It's a lovely and political film from 1957. As I watched Fred Astaire and Cyd Charisse dance across the screen...it was impossible to ignore the power of the storyline. We can learn much from the artistic past...how relevant this picture is for our modern times.

Back from New York & Massachusetts

Traveling is very draining, I'm still tired from flying across the Country and back in 5 days. The last two days of editing I slept 3 hours each night. Working with Eric Marciano in his beautiful western Massachusetts home was an incredibly creative experience. We were able to make a 20 minute demo-tape of AMERICA'S FINEST KIDS.

The film is now taking on it's own identity as a creative 'work of art'. It is indeed an 'art doc'. For a moment, early on in this process...it was difficult to let go of some of the creative and narrative line of thought I've held onto for some time. When working with an experienced Filmmaker such as Eric, one finds it refreshing and invigorating to let go of some aspects of control and then embrace the newly revealed creative release made possible by walking on a different path. That said, quickly we joined together in thought and process and the 'fruit of our labor' has borne out a brilliantly crafted introduction into my life and that of this film. Post production has now begun, some elements of production do remain, as this is a creative Indie project. Patrons and friends, please join with me over these next several weeks and months to raise the finishing funding to complete this amazing documentary film!

Thanks for your love, support and patronage!

Terry Smith

Exhausted, but I've gotta talk about Bray, etc...

Well, it's 1:15pm here in Sunny San Diego...and, finally I'm blogging about my trip on March 6th to San Francisco to photograph and film my 19yr old Model friend...Alexander Baxter III, otherwise known as "BRAY".

In retrospect I wish I would have recorded our conversation as we both relaxed in bed. However, my concern was not to come off as fake...so much in film making, even in documentary story telling is border-line reality.

Bray was and may still be suicidal...for a few weeks we have been communicating in long emails and talking on the cell phone as he walked around the streets of San Francisco. His Mom and Step-Dad kicked him out of the house when they discovered he was doing escort work to earn money. He's been kicking his heroine habit the past few years...his medication to help him stay off of it is $600 a month.

On April 8th, Bray will have his 2oth Birthday...hopefully!! I don't know what I'll do if I lose another youth I care so much about. Life is a crazy ride, everyone with their own belief systems and ideology...it's crazy...people are controlled by MONEY, holy Shit!!! I don't understand how humanity can be so fucking callas.

My dream to have an Art Commune and Movement...birthed out of my San Diego and American experience is still underway...I'm constantly networking, meeting people...life is a little, maybe a lot strange.

Back to Bray, I love this Kid...he has some unique beliefs...I was able to feel the tension and then release of tension from his body as I held him in my arms... he was gonna come back with me to San Diego...but when we pulled up to his Mom's house...she was busy conducting a Yoga class...I could see a child in his eyes. So, we left...and went back into the city and took some color photos...the scars on his chest and arms were being highlighted by the warmth of the sun.

The many hours I drove to get to him and then the 9 hours or so to leave him and get back to my social service job...it's intense. My life is INTENSE!!!

Surely there is someone out there that cares about human life, cares about these beautiful and sometimes... damaged souls that I am so passionately embracing. Why are we controlled by money, why?? Fear controls people, keeps them from accepting other people's reality, art, life. Money seems to be more precious than life itself. Money, dollars...it's a processed object/product from a formerly living...TREE!

I love you Bray!!!

Terry

PASSION at 46

Originally I was going to title this blog, "Raped & 120"...because those were my emotional words a few hours ago as I lay in my car, trying to get some sleep. The sound of the rain hitting the metal roof eventually affected me deeply, almost like torture! The day before and into this new morning was full of intense emotion. Early Saturday morning it was a peaceful experience with the rain. Matt's leather sofa was my bed, instead of my front car seat as of this day. It was refreshing in an actuall home. Saturday I left LeStat's (which is where I am now at 6:06am)...and drove by Little Jed's Dad's house. The front door was open, so I stopped by. It was only Jed there...he welcomed me in. His Dad and gf were getting some mexican food. He began to show me all the things they'd just purchased at the garage sales. We read together, each our own new/used book. Then when the 'big people' arrived, we had fun visiting...it was relaxing and very enjoyable. The time slipped away, it was becoming evening and Jed's Mom was outside, there to pick him up...his weekend with Dad had come to an end.

Ed and I talked for awhile about life, parenting etc...I was honored to give advice to this, my good friend. Gormet pizza was for dinner, at my favorite spot on adams avenue. Then to LeStat's once again as I was to meet with an art Patron. He never showed, I waited nearly 4 hours...furious I was; that's when the mental anguish began...So, off to Poway to check my PO Box. Finally, Bray...a beautiful and fragile 19 year old Model in San Francisco returned my call. We talked for 1 1/2 hours. OMG, I felt drained...we poured our hearts out to each other...I was dealing with a recovering heroine addict. He told me his life story in great detail. Captivated, totally drawn in...I couldn't escape this conversation, nor did I want to. Though it was incredibly draining, it was a good experience for us both. We traveled to many dangerous places in our conversation...the past is what it is and it takes courage to deal with it and the present; they are intertwined. Now, well after midnight, it was time to find a safe spot to park and try get some rest. As I parked and tried to get comfortable...it didn't take long for the fear to pay me a visit. My mind was being tormented with my own reality. I wanted to cry, but the tears couldn't fully form in my eyes...shaking, looking and listening to the approaching cars... Each time the car came near, it struck fear in me! I felt as though, once again in my life, my emotions were being raped! As I told Bray a little earlier, that "Life is all about RELATIONSHIPS...AND MONEY"

Thus my PASSION at 46, but who cares?

120 people with a thousand dollars each, could change my life forever and help launch an Art Movement in San Diego, California that in time...would generate Millions of dollars made from sold Artwork! Kids, young adults would be employed, films, photography, various works of art would be made and sold.

My life of social service has meaning. I am an Artist, I am a human being...I have value. PERPETUATE LIFE. Let's make ART, Let's save LIVES...embrace me, love me and I will love and embrace you!

"HUMAN CANVAS"

The Human Canvas project to benefit a worthy local Charity/Organization is progressing quite well. Many of my Model friends are re-arranging their schedules already to accommodate the mid-March Event date. I thank in advance the property Owners that are making their space available as a temporary Studio for the public to view and appreciate Art, in the making. This image I've posted is my dear and late friend, Shane Dull. He took his life 4 months after our last group show in 2003, here in San Diego. I love and respect my young Artist friends...I have many good memories. Shane's story will be told in my documentary film. Be strong and courageous...I too suffer from depression and sometimes use this Blog to vent my emotional distress, however, I'm a living testament to being one that's a fighter. Art is sometimes the "savior of our souls". Let's Make Art!

Human Canvas, Suicide & Money...

Maybe it's not the quantity, but the quality of those involved in creating what is art. I am not a business man, I hate having to talk about money. Art breathed life into my existence many years ago, now it seems that the trials of expressing what's inside of me is draining that same life from my very being.
We try so very hard to say something, people listen and then they move onto the next stimulating noise or visual experience.
Why do we humans even bother at all with life, really...what do we wish to accomplish by living it out? Does our mere existence somehow affect the system of the World, it's worth and value? There is no more value in life...man's ideology has consumed our own peace... and civility is over rated...perhaps.
Money and the love of it...brings us all to our knees...and then-----------then we break! Tell me, what is "worthiness" worth? People are so fucking shallow, if they only knew the value of passion...it burns the chaff away from the statues of mediocrity... Why do we celebrate that which we have created...that which has come from our own ambitious and self absorbed propaganda buffet of thought and reason... Fuck it! How profound and worthless is the "Human Canvas".

Zach's Urban Experience

Here are two images from Zach's first photo-shoot. You will notice that there is a difference in the look and feel of each photograph. It is soft light in the mud & water. I used a #25 red filter for the photo in the direct sunlight.

We had a lot of fun walking around San Diego...also, you should have seen my shoes...there was about 3 inches of mud all around the edges. Zach is an 'Extreme Athlete', we will be filming him 90 feet in the air very soon.

Since tomorrow is Christmas, I'll wish a very Merry one to the readers of this blog. Zach's a good kid, I look forward to more artistic experiences with him.

Francis at 15

Francis will be 20 years old next year. He is the last remaining main character in my documentary film for me to do 'follow up' on. I'll be going to South Carolina to film him with his father, fishing out in the Atlantic. They are commercial fishermen. Francis is also a 'Surfer Kid'. When he came to San Diego in 2005 with his chaperon...he got to surf in the beautiful Pacific. He was very open with his body and then at age 15...saw his 'body as art'. In 2009 I'll photograph him as a young adult...documenting his matured body and probably get him on-camera with a girl, as he's somewhat a "chic magnet".

It should be a great experience....getting to film in his environment. Francis is more mature with regard to his view of the World. I look forward to interviewing him and letting him freely speak his mind.

College Track Star

This is Sheldon, when I met him...he was an amazing athlete. Now, he's in the Army. He is indeed one of "America's Finest Kids".

The "Gay" Kid

His name is Brandon Spear, from Hollywood,CA
He is the cool "gay" kid in my documentary film.

America's Finest Kids

The Purest Form of Art

The purest form of artistic expression

is experienced through

-The fulfillment in the

activity of social service

Photo Essay and Myspace...

This is an older image from my photo essay on youth culture as art. Chris is at his Grandparent's, in the pool house. Recently I've added over 200 photos to myspace. One was removed which had a guy-n-girl couple (clothed)....all sexy and fun, an image from my photo essay. It's funny and sad too, how myspace is all about making money, using young people and their need to communicate via the computer....They will cancel your account if someone, anyone complains....it's amazing. There are myspace groups for masterbaters, this, that, whatever...

It's an American thing. The myspace guy, "Tom"...he's in Santa Monica for crying out loud...BUT, he's all about exploitation and making money off of horny little teens that are searching for love or whatever through his M Y S P A C E "machine".....

You know it's a great asset, really...for communicating with friends, networking etc...but, it's America....don't fuck with the "Money-Mongers".... Advertise, Advertise Advertise!!!!!!!!!!

So much for Art, freedom of expression....and God forbid if you take on any established social norm or money making machines of our imperfect and celebrated society....

Whatever,

terry

Keith is ART

This is another photo from our recent photo-shoot. That morning I woke up thinking about day 2 of our weekend filming and photography. 'Spider man' was what I thought of....so, we did all of the fun and wacky poses...Keith was great!!

www.americasfinestkids.com

terry

Keith's recent photo-shoot

Here's a pic from Keith's photo-shoot here in San Diego a few weeks ago....this is a part of his follow up story. I filmed and photographed him as he's 18 now....

www.americasfinestkids.com

terry

prejudice @ Target....and Skaters dissed!!

I'm here in San Diego, in my car, burning fossil fuel, running my AC, listening to U2 sing...."new years day"....

....watching Skaters, the one kid's board just broke....I gave the kid with open shirt, blond....my business card....told him about my documentary... I spoke with them as I was leaving the newly remodeled Target here on Balboa Ave. Some idiot in a high profile 4x4 tried to hit one of the Skaters as he was marking up the newly painted red curb with his board.... I talked with them about Washington Skate Park.....(built by Skaters)....

....but, what is fucking sad is.....(oh, by the way......Steven Seduction is texting me from Florida....I love this kid, he's so 'friggn' cool)....

...anyways, as I was leaving Target, I was looking down.....to my left a little African American boy, apx 6 or 7 years old was walking hand in hand with his White guardians (Parental units or whatever)........just talking, nothing weird or offensive....and then a 1/2 second later I heard an adult voice say, "fucking niggers"..... I looked up to see who it was....it was an older bearded white guy with his wife......she was probably embarrased....

....it just kinda surprised me, you know....it was sad to me. Maybe because, this little boy didn't do anything that I could tell to provoke this man to say such a thing....Oh well, just had to get online here in Target's parking lot, watch my new Skater friends....and burn more $1.95 a gallon gas and rock out to 94.9 and 91x.....

as soon as I figure out how to load up photos, I'll post some from Keith's photo shoot from last weekend.....it was amazing.

....more stuff is coming soon to www.americasfinestkids.com

last night was a fun art event on Ray Street....with my friend Gustaf and the band was great...yadayadaya!!!

My photo exhibit in SouthPark is coming done next weekend at Junc boutique....so if local, swing by and check it out. It was nice to get to the beach and get away from politics, starvation and world hunger and poverty for a few moments....

aint it all just so swell; met these boys from Italy....their broken english was refreshing!!