Saturday, December 13, 2008

Cops in the Sky!

Cops in the Sky, that's a night, or morning or whatthefuckever! I'm still at LeStat's...accessing the "free" wifi. I've been emailing some "already famous" photographer friends have been saying I should be in, when we do the fucking search engine thing, then people will fucking start reading this Blog more. Well, as some of you know...I still do social services, elder care...the past few years.

It was killing me to work in juvenile group homes. There is all this shit in the news lately, the "16" yr old boy that was tortured in 'foster care' up in Tracy, California...there is so much more stuff that goes on. I tried fighting the "System" while working in fired, went to Court and WON! Got my back pay, but the thing's just like politics these days...all this shit just keeps on emitting its odor!

So, as very few people know, when I don't crash at Matt's house on my days off...I sleep in my car...last night there were drunks, skaters and their gf's...the Cop in the Sky was shining his light down about 2 am this morning...I was depressed, had a photo shoot cancel on me...I treat even the most 'green' model with bums me out when a shoot hardly ever happens though.

I thought about my life, for just a moment...the depression took me very low...thoughts of not existing, suicide...that shit going through my fucking brain...but, I finally fell to sleep. Yes, my life is a's not all 'fun and games', life is difficult to live...that's for sure.

It was cool to briefly talk with Cory in Pennsylvania again...he's now raising his two little daughters...his girlfriend split, what the fuck!...I love this kid!

Francis and I talked also last night...he and his Dad are going back out to fish, 4th time back to back...I look forward to getting out to see him next year in South Carolina to photograph and film him. He was 15 the last time I saw him...Oh', he told me to tell little Jed and his Mom hello last night...and I did. I was invited to the Christmas party at little Jed's was really cool. I brought him a new Skateboard magazine...he's almost 11 now, into skateboarding...

This morning I was pleased to get a call from Sean, he's one of the kids from Seattle that's in my film...however, he's sort of starving, living in Pittsburgh now. Fuck!!, everyone needs money! It would be so cool if I could show more of my photography online, but I'll pick something out to include in this blog.

You know, I love the cast in my documentary so much, I must finish this film for them...let the World see them and get to know them...

-If we die, do we make a ripple?

If we live, dose anyone with money care?

If we reach out to the homeless, the abused & used,

will money come our way?

The next Great American Photographer...or, so people say...

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