Saturday, August 21, 2010
At the Moment
Still here at the moment, not sure for how much longer though. Lately, each day I awake...think it may be my last. No Van Gogh references needed. There are so many things I'd like to say, but I just don't feel like putting it all out in the form of a Blog. So, that said...when you the Blog reader no longer see photos going up or rants from me...you'll know that perhaps, somethings...
People come to me, all excited...want to give me money to help finish my film...then, nothing happens. The expressions on faces, the way people walk and talk...humanity. Last night the film PATRICK 1.5, I saw it at the KEN Theater. The Swedes know Art, how to make it...how to tell a story. The movies are an escape for me. My drive is mostly gone, stripped of ambition...and yet, I stay the course...more often than not, I want to tell people to fuck off...then also, I feel like a little boy who's lost his way and then, there's the familiar image in my mind...a place where I used to play all day in the Sun...no worries, nothing to burden me down...simply adventure.
I think of some of the Blogs that people put my images on, they fantasize and write what they think and what they feel...they don't get it, hardly anyone gets it.
Men, driven by the blood in their penis, or the lack in their own existence...wanting what they see in a photograph...it's gone, doesn't last for long...trust me. Life, now there's something with TRUE VALUE. Hmmmm, what'cha gonna do with Life? All these different belief systems, brain wash, art, violence, terrorism, expression, ice cream...it's not all the same...Hmmmm, Birth! Birth, now that's PURE. The creation of something new, that which is innocent, not guilty of having an opinion or expression or mood...simply, Breathe IN.