Exhausted, but I've gotta talk about Bray, etc...

Well, it's 1:15pm here in Sunny San Diego...and, finally I'm blogging about my trip on March 6th to San Francisco to photograph and film my 19yr old Model friend...Alexander Baxter III, otherwise known as "BRAY".

In retrospect I wish I would have recorded our conversation as we both relaxed in bed. However, my concern was not to come off as fake...so much in film making, even in documentary story telling is border-line reality.

Bray was and may still be suicidal...for a few weeks we have been communicating in long emails and talking on the cell phone as he walked around the streets of San Francisco. His Mom and Step-Dad kicked him out of the house when they discovered he was doing escort work to earn money. He's been kicking his heroine habit the past few years...his medication to help him stay off of it is $600 a month.

On April 8th, Bray will have his 2oth Birthday...hopefully!! I don't know what I'll do if I lose another youth I care so much about. Life is a crazy ride, everyone with their own belief systems and ideology...it's crazy...people are controlled by MONEY, holy Shit!!! I don't understand how humanity can be so fucking callas.

My dream to have an Art Commune and Movement...birthed out of my San Diego and American experience is still underway...I'm constantly networking, meeting people...life is a little, maybe a lot strange.

Back to Bray, I love this Kid...he has some unique beliefs...I was able to feel the tension and then release of tension from his body as I held him in my arms... he was gonna come back with me to San Diego...but when we pulled up to his Mom's house...she was busy conducting a Yoga class...I could see a child in his eyes. So, we left...and went back into the city and took some color photos...the scars on his chest and arms were being highlighted by the warmth of the sun.

The many hours I drove to get to him and then the 9 hours or so to leave him and get back to my social service job...it's intense. My life is INTENSE!!!

Surely there is someone out there that cares about human life, cares about these beautiful and sometimes... damaged souls that I am so passionately embracing. Why are we controlled by money, why?? Fear controls people, keeps them from accepting other people's reality, art, life. Money seems to be more precious than life itself. Money, dollars...it's a processed object/product from a formerly living...TREE!

I love you Bray!!!

Terry