I wanna be da PRESIDENT of tha UNITED STATES OF AMERICANA

Life's a trip, livn da Car, maik daART... e VENT ually a MILL onion aire!!!

Art made @ Jimmy's Hizzle in San Francisco!

It's the week after my trip to San Francisco. This trip I didn't get to meet with Bray's Mom, but I will soon. Also, Mark Gregg's Dad passed away, Judith is now without her son and husband...God love and bless these women.

As for the road trip up to meet Jimmy...way cool, as is he! Thanks Phil for driving there and back, 'much love Amigo'! The William Westerfield House is amazing...we talked, drank red, red wine till about 5am...slept beddy beddy good.

So many stories of life in San Fran, Jimmy is a living breathing history book, an incredible character and a great new friend! We walked around the City on Saturday, photographing Daniel, then at home in his room...that was a lot of fun!

Then, Javier came from San Jose and stayed with me Saturday night, we photographed that night and then early on Sunday morning. He was a blast...here he is at a window in one of the rooms in the mansion.

~T

a Fun photo shoot with Kevin M. in America's Finest City!

Well, well, well...what a Fun weekend! Kevin is so cool, so much fun to be able to do this his first 'provacative photo shoot'.

We started off as I often do to get to know him, we played frisbee at Balboa Park.

He's pretty damn good at it too! It's amazing how many people don't even know how to throw a round piece of plastic, LOL

Location, location, location...as they say in the 'Movie business'! We photographed around my favorite spots in North & Southpark...at the bridges, my good friend's house as well...here are a few images from our day, hope you enjoy!

The weekend in a mirror...

Wow, it's 2010 already!!! This is an image from me and Scottie's weekend...it was Christmas, he's homeless in Hollywood...came to Cali to be a Model, from Tennessee.

Me, well...you know my story.

We had so much fun, a highlight was going to see Tom Ford's new film opening Christmas...it's A Single Man. AWESOME, gotta check it out!!!

It was so nice to spend time with Scottie, to relax and just have fun. Before I took him to catch his Greyhound Bus back to Hollywood, he talked to the camera...told his story in brief, 'wearing briefs', lol...but it was moving, compelling and real.

I love this guy, he's cool...a good Kid, just can't go home...it ain't so good for him there.

Let's all love more, try not to hate, embrace life...bless people, make art & make love!!!

~T

Coming of Age-Loss of Innocence

Last night, into the morning I listened to the sound of the rain...pitter patter, as it bounced off my car roof. Had a lot on my mind, just had seen the film 'Me and Orson Wells'. Before leaving the movie theater parking lot, I was texting with this "gay kid"...he's 16, wants desperately to be in my documentary. It's difficult to know what relationships to maintain...with all my years in social work I know better than to sever these delicate relationships abruptly.

The loss of Bray, barely 20 still weighs heavily on my mind, affecting my emotions deeply.
So, this 'youngen', he's just 16 and very sexually active...he texts me the other night about these three "straight" 18 year old boys coming over with alcohol...then he texts me when everyone is fully drunk saying he's "going to bottom with them tonight, he's in the mood".

Now, after the deeds have been done, he texts me saying, " Yea, I found that 4sums with 3 aggressive drunk str8 men after your ass can be pleasurable until they try to put two in me at once".

Then he texts, "Well, me was very drunk and they were all curious and good friends. Plus hott, so I did not care really. It was a new experience."
So...this kid, as with Bray is a "Cutter"...I feel it's important to allow communication to remain...though he's completely in another State...if just talking with this kid keeps him "safer"...alive ya know, then I've done my part.

Bray was going to get paid $5000 (so he told me when still living) ...to be the Sex Object, "Toy" in a gay ritual, an "initiation" of sorts with 80 gay men in San Francisco...after a long discussion with him, I was finally able to talk him out of it. I told him being raped over and over again and with all the body fluids, no rules or laws upheld to keep him safe...that he'd need 5K just to repair the physical not to mention mental damage done. As I've blogged before, he did finally jump off the Golden Gate Bridge in August...I think of him hitting his head on the way down, floating in the Bay for 3 days before his body was found...it's still a disturbing and frightening picture I can't get out of my mind...

Some people say that I should just make the film 100 % sensual and artistic, not to put out there my heart and that I've got such a rich history of social service...I'm like, WHY?...I'm not just another Photographer shooting this 'edgy genre'! I'm uniquely my own person; can't be fake or unreal like the 'book' or 'cookie cutter' says I'm supposed to be. I'm a proud, creative American Photographer...I plan to "rock the World" with my presence, my creations, statements, commentary and social justice implemented...living, breathing, affecting, changing, growing and making a lot of money through inventive process and teaching young Artists how to achieve their goals/dreams/vision!!!

So, what to do about these troubled or curious at least gay, bi, str8 boys becoming men...well, just perpetuate life...let's just keep on perpetuating life!

Selah,

~Terry

It's been awhile...

For those of you following this blog, it's been awhile...so I thought I'd better check in. Just as soon as I picked up my cameras again, I put them back down. In about 2, 3 weeks I plan on doing another photo shoot...with this young man that's really cool, we've been planning for several months now. (This photo-set is Zander, by the way.)

Tonight I saw the documentary called: Horse Boy

A truly lovely story of this family with an autistic son, they travel to Mongolia and meet with several Shamans...miraculously he's much better once they return to their home in Texas.

Also tonight I got text messages from a young Model on a Greyhound Bus, headed to California with no money, no place to stay...in search of his dream. He wants so very much to do a shoot with me, wants to be in my documentary as well. Wow, I need an 'Artists Commune' or something I guess.

It's such a beautiful day, now evening...good food, movie and now sitting at LeStat's...watching all this 'humanity'. Two beautiful teenage boys, obviously attracted to each other, visiting in a safe environment, others on their laptop computers, people in motorised wheelchairs, goths, nerds, a variety of races, body types etc, etc, etc.

It's been difficult, this year for sure...losing Bray in August, was a real blow to my emotions and how I view the World. I so much need to finish this film, my documentary...hopefully we'll have enough funding soon to be able to go into post-production by Spring of 2010...not very far away. I can promise, you've never, ever seen a bio-pic/art documentary like this one...it ain't your average Picture, people!

Enough saying hello and checking in with the WorldWideWeb community...carry on!

~Terry

I'm 'Back In The Saddle'

It was truly alarming, learning of Bray's death recently...wasn't sure, didn't feel like taking anymore pictures or finishing my documentary. Meeting and getting to know and in a way, falling in love with these young, vibrant and dangerous Souls...it's a tax on the mind and emotions are in full play.

So, the past 3 weekends I've taken up my camera and recorded and celebrated new friends' life, love and expression. Irving came from Guadalajara 3 weeks ago, I picked him up downtown and he spent the night with me here in San Diego...we photographed and he talked with me on-camera in the Hotel room, reminiscent of my time with Bray...but this time this young man joined together with me in a brief conversation about someone I loved dearly, someone...now lost to the ages.

These past two weekends I've photographed and interviewed Zander, an 18yr old boy from the UK. I so love to hear him talk, it's music to my ears...so full of life and enjoying his California Dreaming! Friday, August 28th I picked him up at the Train Station in Oceanside. We had so much fun, shooting in various planned and random locations throughout the city. We enjoyed listening to Hendrix on cd as we drove home to his cousins in Santa Clarita...

Then, a week later he receives the cd of images we'd taken and he Facebook messaged me and said he wanted to be in my documentary, to be interviewed. So, though it was labor day weekend, I drove up to meet with him at Zuma Beach in Malibu. We again were so happy to be together, soaking up the sun and enjoying a brief time of relaxing and lounging on the sand. The interview took place under a near by bridge and we also shot a roll of B & W stills...so dirty and dangerous was our location, we both loved it...so refreshing and spontaneous!

Again it was time to say goodbye, a slight embrace of my beautiful friend...then to the car and another long drive on the Pacific Coast Highway...then the 10 to the 405. I was happy, revived...now, I feel as though I am truly, "Back in the Saddle"...free once again to enjoy life, to freely express, embrace, engage in living this gift of my life.