Human Canvas, Suicide & Money...

Maybe it's not the quantity, but the quality of those involved in creating what is art. I am not a business man, I hate having to talk about money. Art breathed life into my existence many years ago, now it seems that the trials of expressing what's inside of me is draining that same life from my very being.
We try so very hard to say something, people listen and then they move onto the next stimulating noise or visual experience.
Why do we humans even bother at all with life, really...what do we wish to accomplish by living it out? Does our mere existence somehow affect the system of the World, it's worth and value? There is no more value in life...man's ideology has consumed our own peace... and civility is over rated...perhaps.
Money and the love of it...brings us all to our knees...and then-----------then we break! Tell me, what is "worthiness" worth? People are so fucking shallow, if they only knew the value of passion...it burns the chaff away from the statues of mediocrity... Why do we celebrate that which we have created...that which has come from our own ambitious and self absorbed propaganda buffet of thought and reason... Fuck it! How profound and worthless is the "Human Canvas".

my Mother

Cory is texting me...he's a good friend, will call me tonight. Well, I talked with my Sister back in Oklahoma a little while ago. Her oldest daughter is getting ready to go to work to her first job...she's a server at a nursing home. Sis and I had a good lil. chat before she had to go take care of her kids. My Mother is back in the hospital. Mom is asking for me....saying, "where's Terry". It breaks my heart.....my folks have been one of the main reasons I've continued on with making this film, in hope that the sale of the documentar will net me enough money to be able to bring them back out here to southern California.....for there last days....Mom loves the ocean.

Hopefully I'll start hearing from people, I need to do the maximization thing to get traffic to my website etc....trouble is, I'm a fuckN broke ass Artist...currently.

Again, hopefully this'll happen sooner than later. You know, family is really the most important thing. So much craziness is going on in the world, we have clashes of cultures and ideals etc....really though, human life if the most valueable thing ever!!!

The whole world revolves in some way....shape....or form, around "relationships". Of course money makes the 'world go round'....but, it's really how we see the world through relationships that truly shapes 'our world'.

Are you a believer in karma?? Do unto others?? ....and I'm not talking vengeance.....we need more love..... Can we even love our enemies?? The problem is....our human race loves to hate, Wow!

I believe we should do our best to be kind and caring....now maybe I've just messed with your 'artistic mojo'....well, there are many aspects to our busy living.... I hope as my career takes off here in the very near future....that I don't lose my own 'humanity'....

Some day I will be worth a lot of money and many people will want to be with me in some way or another.....but, I don't ever want to forget where I came from....

terry