America's Finest BLOG

Natural in front of the camera

2012-01-02T22:31:00.000-08:00

Thought I'd start the year with a color image of Keith. This is from a fairly
recent photo shoot. Keith has really grown creatively in front of my camera; starting with the skateboard photography and filming when he was still in School. He's
a passionate, hard working young man and a good friend. Happy New Year everyone!

In the beginning was...

2011-12-14T13:31:00.000-08:00

Here are a few of my earliest images. The one in the loin cloth is
among the five sent to Donatella Versace back in 1998. My photo essay
started in 96...I was very ambitious, showing my photography to
anyone and everyone at that time. Of all the Celebrities I mailed sample photos
to, she's the only one that responded. I thought it was amazingly
kind of her, especially since it'd only been four months since her
brother Gianni was murdered. Some day I would like to photograph
for her. As the new year approaches and I hope it's a good one, enjoy
these images...they are some of my favorites. The landscape here in
southern California is so inviting for natural art.
All the best,

Terry

A Night in Pasadena

2011-09-18T10:37:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I got on I-5 headed north to downtown Los Angeles. Met with
the Gallery that's showing me in March...that went well. Then met with
Richard, a lovely Photographer friend. I brought along my camera equipment,
supposedly 5 or 6 people wanted to shoot with me...however, it was Christopher
that called. It was a fun night I spent with him, making art in Pasadena.

TRANSAMERICA

2011-09-16T15:33:00.000-07:00

Meet Angel,

she's a tranny youth that's 1/2 way through the process
of becoming a self-made woman. I feel it's important to
document all aspects of modern youth culture.

The Art of Skaters & skateboarding!

2011-08-16T23:30:00.000-07:00

Thoughts on the day

2011-08-10T12:49:00.000-07:00

Who is relevant, who has purpose and worth? What is art if it doesn't perpetuate life and make it better? Violence for the sake of violence, profit making for the sake of profit making...Life and death are not virtual, it's real...you can feel it!

Graham & Jen

2011-08-04T16:38:00.000-07:00

This is the most viewed image on my America's Finest Kids MODEL MAYHEM account. As most of you know, my photo essay on youth culture as art is primarily male based in content. However, not all the males are gay...many are straight, some bi-sexual. I do photograph females as they fit into the story line of photo shoot and or documentary. It's been over 10 years since this image was created...it remains timeless.
Sincerely,

Terry Smith

They come from Arizona, to cool off in Cali

2011-07-21T17:12:00.000-07:00

Stevin and his buddies drove out from Phoenix a few weeks ago. He skates barefoot back in AZ. We had fun down at Ocean Beach...we took a few pics in Hillcrest, as the Sun was setting. Good times...

This is my loving Father, he passed away on the first day of Summer.

2011-07-20T10:44:00.000-07:00

It's been a difficult year, my Father has been in very poor health all year long. Has spent many, many weeks in the Hospital. Finally, he passed away on June 21st, the first day of Summer...it's longest day. Indeed, it was a long day. I think of my Dad every day...he was a good man. My memories are good ones of my childhood...Dad lived with a disability his entire adult life, yet was able to raise 5 kids and stayed faithful to my Mother for over 50 years. I'll always have him with me, in memory and in my heart...wherever I go. Rest in Peace...Dad.

Your loving Son,
Terry

BIKER BOY!

2011-06-13T13:23:00.000-07:00

I can't drive 55!

Home on wheels

2011-06-05T21:29:00.000-07:00

Here are some images from the photo-shoot I did with Keith. He's been
in front of my camera since he was 16 years old. He will be turning 21 this year. Keith is an awesome Skater, fantastic Carpenter and a great friend. This is his van, he lives in this "Mobile Home". Many people in our great Country are homeless, or at least live and exist in hardship. I have tons of respect for Keith, he's kind of raised himself through much of his teenage years...he has an amazing work ethic. It's been really cool to photograph him as art over the years, now as an adult...he can be more open and expressive in front of my camera. Keith is still one of, America's Finest Kids!

re-posting this version of film trailer for America's Finest Kids documentary

2011-05-21T23:40:00.000-07:00

There will be more trailers in the future, so...enjoy
this one for now. REMEMBER, WE'RE TRYING TO BRING AWARENESS
OF THE PROBLEM WITH SUICIDE IN THIS GENERATION. THIS PROVOCATIVE
FILM PORTRAYS AN ARTIST'S JOURNEY, YOUTH AS ART AND THE STRUGGLE
OF LIVING THIS LIFE FULLY WITH FREEDOM & PEACE.

~T

America's failure (Health Care)

2011-02-12T23:47:00.000-08:00

Originally I thought of the title being, "A thing called love"...as I'm thinking
of my Parents. I was at BORDERS and heard this song, it instantly brought me back
to my childhood memories...this song was one of my favorites. Earlier today I spoke with my family back in Oklahoma...my Dad's not doing well, his ankles are 3 times
the size of his biceps. I'm worried that the next visit to the hospital, that the Doctor will enlist the State to put Dad in a nursing facility. We don't have money and it takes a lot of money to be able to afford a Caregiver. Our System is so broken here in America. It's so difficult for me to watch what's happening to those
that I love so very much. My career move to full time successful Artist is in the making...I may not realize the monetary success in time to be able to bless my family. I'm thinking of all the treaties and promises that were made to my Native American ancestors, how the US Government failed them so miserably, now Republicans and Democrats are fighting over health care...not able to find common ground, it's frustrating. We have so much in this Country, we as a nation are benevolent to other Nations...but we seem to neglect caring for our own. We neglect the elderly, we incarcerate too many Citizens, we fail to take care of our infrastructure...pumping more and more dollars into endless Wars, creating more and more divide among the Global Community. Don't get me wrong, I love America...this is my Country, I'm of European and Native American descent and as some of you know, my life has been dedicated to social service, I've more than paid my dues as a humanitarian American.

But we've got to take care of the defenseless, that's what a good American should be about. We must tackle the reality of joblessness and homelessness and poverty here in America. I hope to build my brand, to engage in commerce with America's Finest Kids the film, the products, providing jobs...helping make a difference. Art can be a very powerful thing, we should embrace the challenges that are before us and constantly be thinking of creative ways to make life better fore everyone here in America...there's much room for improvement!

W I L DCHILD

2011-02-12T23:42:00.000-08:00

meet D. Zuniga, an image from my shoot in LA recently.

Paying my dues...

2011-02-07T00:19:00.000-08:00

It's 12:20am, here at LeStat's in San Diego...I didn't think I was going to share TMI anymore on this blog, but since people are saying a lot lately; "you're life's a movie"...oh yeah? Well...damn, why do so many people wear black at hipster coffee shops? Let me back up a bit, Saturday I woke up in my car...had a good nights rest
over in North Park. OH! I must say this before I forget, at first I thought this would be titled: Fuck Poverty/Capitalism/TMI,etc. However, 'Paying my dues' works.
Know this, I have $1.81 in my personal checking account, also I have $1.81 in my business checking account...how crazy is that?! A few minutes ago I was in Mira Mesa, since my brother decided to go to LA to celebrate Chinese New Year, I had to experience my great American SUPERBOWL tradition at a bar. Though I'm uber broke, it was necessary for me to feel like a normal Good Ol'boy today...or yesterday now.

On top of the past 36 hours, not only did I lose the elderly female Client that I care for...I've had the shits (diarrhea) as well. Damn, now that's TMI, LOL. Think about it, this is MY YEAR, my career is taking off...but I can so identify with POVERTY. So, I'm sitting in my car...apx. 12 miles from my normal neighborhood where my friend's 24 hour coffee shop is...oh, a great place for coffee and to take a shit, btw...anywho...that's near where I sleep at night in my car on the weekends...thank God I don't live where it's snowing, I'd have frozen to death by now. So there I sit, thinking...damn, I gotta get some gas...do I need to shit anytime soon?...what a kenundrum! Jeeze Louize, I'm thinking of my last text to Sean, who's working on my Kickstarter.com fundraiser trailer/trailer to show people etc...and I'm in contact with some "A-List" Celebs in the Photog/Art World...I told Sean that I need to get one of these guys to produce and take over and finish direction of America's Finest Kids. All this is in my head...I'm thinking of how much it sucks to not have any money...the idea of Capitalism too in my mind, the magazine...ADBUSTERS...all about anti-capitalism...oh, Saturday I'm online with my amazingly beautiful Skater-Model friend in France, I want him in my American film...and why, Because I simply want him in it...he can skate naked with some of my American Skater boys...straight too for those fuckers with boners. So, he's out of work and had to move back home, we skyped for over an hour, it was fun...this cute Chic at the coffee shop sat next to me, so I showed her to him...great connection, LOL.

What do you do when you got the shits?! You gotta eat food that binds you up inside...so my dinner at first was a cup of rice at El Zarrapa, it cost $2.25...grabbed some raw carrots and onions for free too. Pathetic, that's what it is...being broke, somewhat famous...not so rich!!! haha, LOL!

Any who, one of my goals is to develop product, employ all kinds of people and say goodbye forever to poverty. As some may know, most of my life has been dedicated to SOCIAL SERVICE...that said, fuck you if you don't like my photography or my life...I'm a good person, help people on a daily basis and I make controversial photographic art. There!!! Oh, so...I leave Mira Mesa and for the second time today/yesterday I couldn't use my debit card...man Oh man, I have or had $7.40 in the Bank...there's "Capitalism" for ya, LOL...the System or Gas Stations won't allow you to use your card if the balance is TOO LOW!, Fuck that! So, I went to VONS...worried because I'm running out of gas in my car and I've still gotta drive over 20 miles north to get back to work in the morning...but I take a chance, I go to VONS grocery store on Adams Avenue, get a California orange=$1.00, swipe my card...oh, VONS Club card saved me .41 cents btw...and yahoo!!! I got $5 cash back! THUS, I'VE REACHED THE GRAND TOTAL OF $1.81 in my checking account. It's time to make my first million, whoRAY for Capitalism, Humanitarianism, Industrialism, Calvinism, Pragmatism etc, etc, etc...

She made it to 84

2011-02-05T22:11:00.000-08:00

I lost a good friend today. She made it to eighty four...and no more. The voice remains in my mind. A harmonious life, lived to the fullest...we celebrate her in memoriam.
Selah

Last photo-shoot of 2010

2011-01-03T14:45:00.000-08:00

This is Judson, a young Dancer from NYC in town for the Holidays to be with Family. We barely had enough time to do this. My friend let us borrow his house for a few hours. I picked Judson up in the Del Mar area, then we visited on the drive to San Diego and in no time clothes were on the floor, all the does & don't were communicated and the camera was busy doing what it does. Here are a few picks from our quickie shoot.

Happy New Year Everyone!!!

Terry

Amongst them...

2010-12-07T09:29:00.000-08:00

Of the 36 images I shot of Dylan Monroe two weekends ago, the sexy Motel pics and
public nudity images...this one image I find very powerful. We were at one of my favorite locations and happened upon this environmental scene of a homeless person's dining room. Notice the carefully placed concrete pieces, the magazine, Styrofoam container and Campbell's soup can.

Dylan was so much fun, we truly connected on an intimate, sexy and even humorous human level. I'm so glad that we finally got together, we've been trying to make this happen for almost two years.

Golden Boy

2010-11-24T23:05:00.000-08:00

This kid is golden, that's for sure. I'm so impressed with Joel...he's read all the magazine articles, website info and blog...very cool when someone does their research. He's one of 9 Tennessean children. These images are from this past weekend. It was raining here in San Diego and I've finally found a local Muse that's as crazy as I am...he even jumped into the river, I love it! Haha! Well, here's some images from our wet day.

Make art, make peace!

~Terry

It's OUT!!!

2010-11-02T11:07:00.000-07:00

Carbon Copy by CLIENT Magazine.
www.clientmagazine.eu

Peace to the World!

2010-10-26T16:36:00.000-07:00

Sam & Bob in San Francisco...

Censored on MODELMAYHEM

2010-10-20T14:09:00.000-07:00

This image was deleted from my ModelMayhem account. Note: listed among the options of genre, style is the word; EROTIC

hmmmm, by chance...will erotic...from time to time, look..."erotic"?
I've been censored from the beginning of my photo essay and documentary.
Sam O, Sam O...or...SAMO! Same Ol Shit!

PARIS!

2010-10-12T21:33:00.000-07:00

Paris drove down from Redlands...an amazing shoot, red wine, feeling fine...making art, erotic & wild..."freedom of expression". It's fun to explore in creativity, when collaborating with a fellow-Creative, anything's possible. What is art? Are we art? Is art, art? Make love, Make ART!

featured in CONTRA

2010-09-20T15:52:00.000-07:00

http://thinkcontra.com/blog/terry-smith-americas-finest-kids/

Keith the MAN!

2010-09-19T11:27:00.000-07:00

This is one of the photos from a quick shoot with Keith, weekend before last. It's been an amazing privilege to watch him grow in front of my camera for four years now.

Carbon Copy by CLIENT Magazine

2010-09-15T12:34:00.000-07:00

Look for my publication, out soon!
www.clientmagazine.eu

Terry Smith

God bless America!

2010-09-11T21:50:00.000-07:00

There is so much to say, what I feel really can't be put into words. Today I was stoked to see the amazing documentary film, titled: Jean Michel Basquiat:
THE RADIANT CHILD, it is an amazing story about a boy from Brooklyn, New York...how he stunned the Art World...his life cut too short though. I hope we reflect more, I think of my friends there in New York...the World needs to learn to love more, make love and make art...

Sincerely,

~Terry

At the Moment

2010-08-21T09:01:00.000-07:00

Still here at the moment, not sure for how much longer though. Lately, each day I awake...think it may be my last. No Van Gogh references needed. There are so many things I'd like to say, but I just don't feel like putting it all out in the form of a Blog. So, that said...when you the Blog reader no longer see photos going up or rants from me...you'll know that perhaps, somethings...

People come to me, all excited...want to give me money to help finish my film...then, nothing happens. The expressions on faces, the way people walk and talk...humanity. Last night the film PATRICK 1.5, I saw it at the KEN Theater. The Swedes know Art, how to make it...how to tell a story. The movies are an escape for me. My drive is mostly gone, stripped of ambition...and yet, I stay the course...more often than not, I want to tell people to fuck off...then also, I feel like a little boy who's lost his way and then, there's the familiar image in my mind...a place where I used to play all day in the Sun...no worries, nothing to burden me down...simply adventure.

I think of some of the Blogs that people put my images on, they fantasize and write what they think and what they feel...they don't get it, hardly anyone gets it.

Men, driven by the blood in their penis, or the lack in their own existence...wanting what they see in a photograph...it's gone, doesn't last for long...trust me. Life, now there's something with TRUE VALUE. Hmmmm, what'cha gonna do with Life? All these different belief systems, brain wash, art, violence, terrorism, expression, ice cream...it's not all the same...Hmmmm, Birth! Birth, now that's PURE. The creation of something new, that which is innocent, not guilty of having an opinion or expression or mood...simply, Breathe IN.

~Terry

a new day

2010-08-11T06:33:00.000-07:00

today is a new day and I hope that people will embrace that which is good and no longer mis-lead and lie...that art will continue to live and flourish and produce more creativity borne from the soul, freely expressed...without fear and full of truth...

The Greyhound brought Fernando

2010-08-07T16:24:00.000-07:00

The Greyhound Bus brought Fernando to San Diego...we got a Motel room, damn...even Motel 6 is expensive these days. It must be tourist season...yup, that's it. Well, he was a lot of fun...we shot around the room, did some fun pics in the water and some outdoors as well. He's cool.....

What about Dylan

2010-08-07T08:53:00.000-07:00

Two weekends ago Dylan's Dad paid for he and I to have a Motel room, to chill and hang out. Dylan needed to get away from his environment, is thinking of moving to San Diego. I've known him since his senior year in high school...we've photographed and filmed before, however...this time it was different. A few months ago I was getting ready for a trip to San Francisco, Dylan was interested in coming with...then one day on the phone he told me something had happened, he was going into re-hab for heroine addiction. I said, "so...what happened to get you hooked on heroin, did someone rape you?" Immediately he began to cry, saying that yes...someone had raped him. Over the weeks to come, we talked back and forth about the what had happened and he wanted to spend time with me, doing another shoot...nudes and fun, sexy stuff...also he agreed to open up on-camera, sharing about the rape and addiction.

This was a powerful weekend, we had a good time...he was very relaxed...we also shot around the city. I love this kid, he's been through a lot but he's doing much better now...I hope that I can finish this film, people keep shining me on...the Gallery in Los Angeles has flaked...they're trying to get Gus Van Sant to open their new location...the "Art World" fucking doesn't make sense...people are so fucking shallow and predictable...whatev. Any who, it's a release, it's pure and transparent, my photography and life experiences...the youth are real, life is real...ain't it all just so very grand.

The boys met in San Francisco...

2010-07-03T22:52:00.000-07:00

The boys met in San Francisco...we made art for a few days...it was fun, creative and at times stressful for myself. Some things didn't go as planned, but all in all it was another great experience staying at Jimmy's place, the William Westerfield House. We walk and we walked and then...walked some more. I photographed Stellar with the Golden Gate Bridge in the background. It was almost "therapeutic", I'm still emotionally attached to the memory of Bray. Sam flew from Canada to be with us, Jesse moved back to San Francisco after living in Texas for awhile. I picked Stellar up in Pasadena, he'd been there a few days...took a bus from Las Vegas to Cali.
Here are a few pics from our time together.

LIMITED TIME ONLY, PROMO BOOK AVAILABLE

2010-06-23T17:35:00.000-07:00

....AT: WWW.BLURB.COM
SEARCH: AMERICA'S FINEST KIDS

NOTE: Zander is not fully nude in this, so that'll make him happy that I've cleared it up...when you see the actual book...the INDEX page lists all the images and who is in each picture.

So, if you want this book...get it now, not sure how long I'll have it up on Blurb. Some people tell me to re-design it, cut it in half for fashion people, others tell me to leave it as is for the art people, others say this or that...well, what the fuck ever ya know...it's just for promo for a short while...I'll have a book published eventually by someone like TASCHEN, a Publishing House with some real ballz!

Okay, that's fucking that....
Peace,

~Terry

TOM NICON & MODEL/ACTOR/YOUTH SUICIDES

2010-06-22T09:39:00.000-07:00

This morning as I signed onto my hotmail account, got my daily bulletin/update from MODELS.COM, it was sad to read through the comments regarding the passing of the Model, Tom Nicon. I did not know this young man...but have learned some of the possible reasons for him taking his life. People have all kinds of ideas about why others take their lives...I've lost too many friends this way. In my documentary it's a bit of a juxtaposition...including sexuality, innocence and suicide in the over all story.

Of course one must live a life first before being in a state of mind to consider and then end it. There must be a strong foundation for us to fall back on as we mature and move on in this life...it's never easy and often times can be overwhelmingly impossible to understand, and yet, living...the simple act of it has value. We the human race, come from all walks of life, cultures...some are familiar to us and some ways of life seem and feel incredibly foreign.

For many years I have said that all things in this World revolve around the reality of "relationships". Regardless of where we are or what we do, it's something we all deal with, accepting, rejecting, embracing, rejoicing in relationships...each and every day.

Models and those that dream of the "Celluloid lifestyle"...all have value, it sometimes appears only to be surface or superficial...the Industry of modeling, the Fashion World, Art World, Entertainment Industry...it's all about money, power, sex and ego...where is the real value? Clothing is clothing, Art is Art, a Film goes away in 90 minutes...it will be and has always been "the relationship". Humanity, we are amazingly complex and beautiful creators...truly from the inside out. We're drawn to the surface, but what really connects is the emotion, feeling, love which comes from within.

Regardless of our own desires for that which is superficial, sexy and fun...let's never ever become so limited in our human experience that we forget our humanity.

Let's all perpetuate life!

Sincerely,

Terry Smith

You can eat a meal at WENDY'S for only $2.70

2010-05-15T08:27:00.000-07:00

Wow, what a value! I'm budgeting my days...getting ready for my week up in San Francisco...it'll be nice to see my friends up north and it'll be nice for those coming to see me...the road trip should be beautiful...I love the scenery of this amazingly beautiful State of California. Folk music, Bob Dylan or Woody Guthrie...hmmm, both are fine for the road...TOOL and Hendrix too. Well...I gotta say I'm thinking of Dylan...definately one of "America's Finest Kids"...such a loving, caring human being...this is a pic from one of our shoots. Peace to you my friend.

~Terry

Thinking of BRAY

2010-04-07T20:46:00.000-07:00

I'm thinking of Bray, he would be 21 tomorrow...I'm sad because some people that are supposed to be a friend...they just fucking don't get it. Sure, I love what I do, I take pictures of beautiful young guys...so, does that mean I can't enjoy my life. There is a price to pay, to create art, make friends with those that are younger...those that think I'm "the shit"...(a compliment)...they love my photography and sometimes they love me too. Who knows, maybe I will finish this film...maybe not. All I know is photography keeps me alive; being alive can be a good thing. I wish Bray was here so I could hold him...walk on the beach and reflect on what's going on...all around us.

Selah,

~T

meet Ernest from NEW MEXICO

2010-04-07T20:16:00.000-07:00

This is Ernest, about 3 weeks ago he flew to San Diego to shoot and film with me...also he shot with Kevin Medina-Esquival. So, I picked him up at the airport and we went to the Apartment in Hillcrest that a friend fixed me up with for 4 days...seeing as how I lost my elder care job...the old man got put in a nursing home and his son was an ass-hole and just booted me out. Oh' well, guess he did me a favor.

Ernest is so cool, we had a blast photographing in color and in black & white, I still shoot 35mm ya know. He had fun making out with Kevin; interesting pics we got. We walked around the City, day and at night...taking all kinds of pictures, I set up a studio in the living room, we shot in the bedroom, bathroom. He wanted to do something in the shower or tub, so I fixed him up with "Mr. Bubble", lol

I really feel that he has great potential as a Model or as an Actor, really cool personality...almost a Brando'esque kinna attitude. Ernest can also be very theatrical as we did some light make up and he wore fish net, very sexy and wild. Okay everyone...

pEaCe OuT!

~T

Tennessean

2010-04-02T09:54:00.000-07:00

Yes Sir, just photographed another boy from Tennessee...something must be in the muddy water. I got a message from photographer Ethan James, told me about Nathan's in San Diego...leaving next day, may want to do a shoot.
I called him up on the phone, we decided to do a shoot together...picked him up at the Marriott, his plans here had fallen through. We shot most of the images at the bridges, one of my fave places to shoot graffiti...love the lighting. Funny thing is, a family rode by on their bicycles, haha...got a "free show"! We had a good time and got along well...it was nice to clean up at his fancy room, got on with my evening and he packed for the Limo's early morning pick up.

I wanna be da PRESIDENT of tha UNITED STATES OF AMERICANA

2010-03-16T09:17:00.000-07:00

Life's a trip, livn da Car, maik daART... e VENT ually a MILL onion aire!!!

Art made @ Jimmy's Hizzle in San Francisco!

2010-02-27T08:43:00.000-08:00

It's the week after my trip to San Francisco. This trip I didn't get to meet with Bray's Mom, but I will soon. Also, Mark Gregg's Dad passed away, Judith is now without her son and husband...God love and bless these women.

As for the road trip up to meet Jimmy...way cool, as is he! Thanks Phil for driving there and back, 'much love Amigo'! The William Westerfield House is amazing...we talked, drank red, red wine till about 5am...slept beddy beddy good.

So many stories of life in San Fran, Jimmy is a living breathing history book, an incredible character and a great new friend! We walked around the City on Saturday, photographing Daniel, then at home in his room...that was a lot of fun!

Then, Javier came from San Jose and stayed with me Saturday night, we photographed that night and then early on Sunday morning. He was a blast...here he is at a window in one of the rooms in the mansion.

~T

a Fun photo shoot with Kevin M. in America's Finest City!

2010-01-07T12:13:00.000-08:00

Well, well, well...what a Fun weekend! Kevin is so cool, so much fun to be able to do this his first 'provacative photo shoot'.

We started off as I often do to get to know him, we played frisbee at Balboa Park.

He's pretty damn good at it too! It's amazing how many people don't even know how to throw a round piece of plastic, LOL

Location, location, location...as they say in the 'Movie business'! We photographed around my favorite spots in North & Southpark...at the bridges, my good friend's house as well...here are a few images from our day, hope you enjoy!

The weekend in a mirror...

2010-01-03T09:47:00.000-08:00

Wow, it's 2010 already!!! This is an image from me and Scottie's weekend...it was Christmas, he's homeless in Hollywood...came to Cali to be a Model, from Tennessee.

Me, well...you know my story.

We had so much fun, a highlight was going to see Tom Ford's new film opening Christmas...it's A Single Man. AWESOME, gotta check it out!!!

It was so nice to spend time with Scottie, to relax and just have fun. Before I took him to catch his Greyhound Bus back to Hollywood, he talked to the camera...told his story in brief, 'wearing briefs', lol...but it was moving, compelling and real.

I love this guy, he's cool...a good Kid, just can't go home...it ain't so good for him there.

Let's all love more, try not to hate, embrace life...bless people, make art & make love!!!

Coming of Age-Loss of Innocence

2009-12-13T10:03:00.000-08:00

Last night, into the morning I listened to the sound of the rain...pitter patter, as it bounced off my car roof. Had a lot on my mind, just had seen the film 'Me and Orson Wells'. Before leaving the movie theater parking lot, I was texting with this "gay kid"...he's 16, wants desperately to be in my documentary. It's difficult to know what relationships to maintain...with all my years in social work I know better than to sever these delicate relationships abruptly.

The loss of Bray, barely 20 still weighs heavily on my mind, affecting my emotions deeply.
So, this 'youngen', he's just 16 and very sexually active...he texts me the other night about these three "straight" 18 year old boys coming over with alcohol...then he texts me when everyone is fully drunk saying he's "going to bottom with them tonight, he's in the mood".

Now, after the deeds have been done, he texts me saying, " Yea, I found that 4sums with 3 aggressive drunk str8 men after your ass can be pleasurable until they try to put two in me at once".

Then he texts, "Well, me was very drunk and they were all curious and good friends. Plus hott, so I did not care really. It was a new experience."
So...this kid, as with Bray is a "Cutter"...I feel it's important to allow communication to remain...though he's completely in another State...if just talking with this kid keeps him "safer"...alive ya know, then I've done my part.

Bray was going to get paid $5000 (so he told me when still living) ...to be the Sex Object, "Toy" in a gay ritual, an "initiation" of sorts with 80 gay men in San Francisco...after a long discussion with him, I was finally able to talk him out of it. I told him being raped over and over again and with all the body fluids, no rules or laws upheld to keep him safe...that he'd need 5K just to repair the physical not to mention mental damage done. As I've blogged before, he did finally jump off the Golden Gate Bridge in August...I think of him hitting his head on the way down, floating in the Bay for 3 days before his body was found...it's still a disturbing and frightening picture I can't get out of my mind...

Some people say that I should just make the film 100 % sensual and artistic, not to put out there my heart and that I've got such a rich history of social service...I'm like, WHY?...I'm not just another Photographer shooting this 'edgy genre'! I'm uniquely my own person; can't be fake or unreal like the 'book' or 'cookie cutter' says I'm supposed to be. I'm a proud, creative American Photographer...I plan to "rock the World" with my presence, my creations, statements, commentary and social justice implemented...living, breathing, affecting, changing, growing and making a lot of money through inventive process and teaching young Artists how to achieve their goals/dreams/vision!!!

So, what to do about these troubled or curious at least gay, bi, str8 boys becoming men...well, just perpetuate life...let's just keep on perpetuating life!

Selah,

~Terry

It's been awhile...

2009-11-13T21:41:00.000-08:00

For those of you following this blog, it's been awhile...so I thought I'd better check in. Just as soon as I picked up my cameras again, I put them back down. In about 2, 3 weeks I plan on doing another photo shoot...with this young man that's really cool, we've been planning for several months now. (This photo-set is Zander, by the way.)

Tonight I saw the documentary called: Horse Boy

A truly lovely story of this family with an autistic son, they travel to Mongolia and meet with several Shamans...miraculously he's much better once they return to their home in Texas.

Also tonight I got text messages from a young Model on a Greyhound Bus, headed to California with no money, no place to stay...in search of his dream. He wants so very much to do a shoot with me, wants to be in my documentary as well. Wow, I need an 'Artists Commune' or something I guess.

It's such a beautiful day, now evening...good food, movie and now sitting at LeStat's...watching all this 'humanity'. Two beautiful teenage boys, obviously attracted to each other, visiting in a safe environment, others on their laptop computers, people in motorised wheelchairs, goths, nerds, a variety of races, body types etc, etc, etc.

It's been difficult, this year for sure...losing Bray in August, was a real blow to my emotions and how I view the World. I so much need to finish this film, my documentary...hopefully we'll have enough funding soon to be able to go into post-production by Spring of 2010...not very far away. I can promise, you've never, ever seen a bio-pic/art documentary like this one...it ain't your average Picture, people!

Enough saying hello and checking in with the WorldWideWeb community...carry on!

~Terry

I'm 'Back In The Saddle'

2009-09-07T14:18:00.000-07:00

It was truly alarming, learning of Bray's death recently...wasn't sure, didn't feel like taking anymore pictures or finishing my documentary. Meeting and getting to know and in a way, falling in love with these young, vibrant and dangerous Souls...it's a tax on the mind and emotions are in full play.

So, the past 3 weekends I've taken up my camera and recorded and celebrated new friends' life, love and expression. Irving came from Guadalajara 3 weeks ago, I picked him up downtown and he spent the night with me here in San Diego...we photographed and he talked with me on-camera in the Hotel room, reminiscent of my time with Bray...but this time this young man joined together with me in a brief conversation about someone I loved dearly, someone...now lost to the ages.

These past two weekends I've photographed and interviewed Zander, an 18yr old boy from the UK. I so love to hear him talk, it's music to my ears...so full of life and enjoying his California Dreaming! Friday, August 28th I picked him up at the Train Station in Oceanside. We had so much fun, shooting in various planned and random locations throughout the city. We enjoyed listening to Hendrix on cd as we drove home to his cousins in Santa Clarita...

Then, a week later he receives the cd of images we'd taken and he Facebook messaged me and said he wanted to be in my documentary, to be interviewed. So, though it was labor day weekend, I drove up to meet with him at Zuma Beach in Malibu. We again were so happy to be together, soaking up the sun and enjoying a brief time of relaxing and lounging on the sand. The interview took place under a near by bridge and we also shot a roll of B & W stills...so dirty and dangerous was our location, we both loved it...so refreshing and spontaneous!

Again it was time to say goodbye, a slight embrace of my beautiful friend...then to the car and another long drive on the Pacific Coast Highway...then the 10 to the 405. I was happy, revived...now, I feel as though I am truly, "Back in the Saddle"...free once again to enjoy life, to freely express, embrace, engage in living this gift of my life.

R.I.P. Alexander "Bray" Baxter lll (april 8, 1989 - august 3, 2009)

2009-08-09T22:34:00.000-07:00

Not too long ago I was blogging about my trip to San Francisco, my weekend with Bray. This time, it's about his suicide of this Monday. Wednesday I got a call from his Mom named Joy. She asked me if I'd heard from him, that he's been missing since Monday. She found my card in his bag...when she said that, I just had this strange feeling. My worst fears were realized this morning. It was about 1:30am, just about to go asleep on Matt's couch...but I wanted to check Bray's facebook page one more time. When I signed on...saw the 'Memorial' and 'Tributes'...I thought Oh no, Oh my God...no, no, no...not again. I couldn't even read them completely through. I've been invited to a Memorial...I can't even decline the RSVP. It's the last thing I want to do, to cry with all these people, though I feel the pain of loss...I've had so much loss...emotionally I just can't handle it. When I see Bray's picture from out photo shoot, when I see all the dozens of emails...still in my Inbox...my heart just shakes and trembles...I can still hear his voice, feel his soft skin, feel him breath in and out...telling me all about his life, his dreams of fame and fortune. Words can't do very much...honestly...I can't deal with all this stuff...I mean, I've had so many friends today loving me...telling me not to give up my photo essay and they've encouraged me to finish my documentary...but in a way...I really don't care to...but then, I need to I suppose. When I got in my car to leave Matt's and go to LeStat's for coffee before going to work...turning on the radio to FM 94.9...these lyrics to some song played...then I turned off the radio.

"you can't put your arms around a memory"....SELAH

~Terry

proud A M E R I C A N

2009-07-18T08:24:00.000-07:00

One week ago today, I was on my way to Balboa Park to play Frisbee with Josh and Shane. Who's got the skills? I gots'tha skizzles. . . . . fo sho!

...anywhoo o o o, Art, making it...is liberating. 14 hours I spent with Josh...we became good friends by the end of the day.

It's so beautiful, fabulous, wonderful to make new friends with really cool, fun and funky people!

Freedom of Expression...that's what it's all about. We Americans are a proud people, we have rights to say, do just about any damn thing we want...within reason. Stand up tall, acknowledge your freedoms...live, love, make art. Show people in daWorld how much you care, we care, I care...live, love, make art!!!

Peace 2 daWorld,

~Terry

born FREE

2009-07-04T01:37:00.001-07:00

It's July 4th 2009 here in America's Finest City! This is my second attempt to publish this post...damn computer problems...anyway, it's 1:38 am, here at LeStat's coffee shop.

The young man in this photo is Alex from Orange County...it's his first photo shoot of this type. He's an American with Vietnamese ancestry.

Now that it's morning, I'll have to talk "about last night"...I went to see the movie, Public Enemies. As I watched, the period piece really spoke to me...reminded me of growing up in Oklahoma and my trips to visit my Grandparents in Kansas. Grandpa Smith at one time was a Sheriff and later worked for the county, building bridges throughout Kansas.

I'm thinking a lot about all the money needed to finish this film...and I don't like that. My focus should be on the Art, not on money. I hope and pray that I'll start to meet people that believe in me and this timely Project. People need to know that most of my life has been dedicated to social service; working for years with the Juvenile Justice System, the past three years doing elder care...just two days ago, this Mexican family took a lot of money from my Client/Patient I take care of...it's a complicated mess. That's partly what's wrong in California...the State has basically bent over and is getting screwed by all these Illegal Aliens here...they drain our welfare system and hospitals...it's ridiculous...our great country is being raped by corrupt and cowardly politicians that only have their own interest in mind.

True social service and activism isn't safe or comfortable. My life has been dedicated to public service, taking on "The System"...standing up for justice. My art is a liberal expression of my creative side. It is my hope that people will see in my film, how important it is to express oneself freely and also be a Social Servant as well.

At the movies, prior to the film...a LEVIS commercial about America was shown...it was beautiful...I think of the Indian boys on the Reservation in Canada that so desperately want to be in front of my camera...to get off the Reservation and live their life freely as fashion Models.

So, America's Finest Kids is more than provocative images and footage, it's about dreams coming true, it's about America...even "North America" and FREEDOM!

After the movie, I walked to Barnes & Noble and looked at and eventually purchased the magazine, Aperture. Topics: NOT-SO-FASHION PHOTOGRAPHY, EDWARD HOPPER'S LEGACY, DIALOGUE WITH DON McCULLIN.

I so enjoyed every page as it turned, I was fascinated with what I beheld...wonderful images and stories...such vision and inspiration... Between the movie, my own memories flooding my conscience and this magazine...I wanted to shout! To Scream out to the World!

Freedom comes with a price, freedom of expression...even in 2009 is being restricted with new laws of social norm and so called morality...the government is perverting the very thing so many people have fought and died to establish and project.

Art can not be canned, packaged in a pre-approved format to please all who witness it's revelation. Art must be freely expressed without fear of retribution...IS ANYONE LISTENING THAT BELIEVES IN THE UNIQUE QUALITY OF EXPRESSIVE FREEDOM??

LET'S MAKE ART! SUPPORT THIS FILM, HELP MAKE IT A REALITY...STAND WITH ME AND WE WILL TELL A TRUE STORY OF STRUGGLE, FAILURE, SUCCESS, CREATIVITY, LIFE, DEATH AND REJUVENATION!

Peace,

Terry

SILK STOCKINGS

2009-05-28T13:09:00.000-07:00

I just finished watching the film, SILK STOCKINGS on TCM. It's a lovely and political film from 1957. As I watched Fred Astaire and Cyd Charisse dance across the screen...it was impossible to ignore the power of the storyline. We can learn much from the artistic past...how relevant this picture is for our modern times.

Back from New York & Massachusetts

2009-05-21T15:56:00.000-07:00

Traveling is very draining, I'm still tired from flying across the Country and back in 5 days. The last two days of editing I slept 3 hours each night. Working with Eric Marciano in his beautiful western Massachusetts home was an incredibly creative experience. We were able to make a 20 minute demo-tape of AMERICA'S FINEST KIDS.

The film is now taking on it's own identity as a creative 'work of art'. It is indeed an 'art doc'. For a moment, early on in this process...it was difficult to let go of some of the creative and narrative line of thought I've held onto for some time. When working with an experienced Filmmaker such as Eric, one finds it refreshing and invigorating to let go of some aspects of control and then embrace the newly revealed creative release made possible by walking on a different path. That said, quickly we joined together in thought and process and the 'fruit of our labor' has borne out a brilliantly crafted introduction into my life and that of this film. Post production has now begun, some elements of production do remain, as this is a creative Indie project. Patrons and friends, please join with me over these next several weeks and months to raise the finishing funding to complete this amazing documentary film!

Thanks for your love, support and patronage!

Terry Smith

CHAOS-MAG.COM

2009-03-26T19:00:00.000-07:00

Check it out:WWW.CHAOS-MAG.COM, it begins on page 272- (Spring issue 2009)

a day with Tyler the "Hobbo Folk Singer"

2009-03-26T18:34:00.000-07:00

It was sort of random, but Gaby...she says, "I think you should photograph this Kid that's staying with us". So, the next day...I did. It was fun...we roamed all over San Diego looking for cool spots to shoot. I filmed him playing is folk songs down by the Sante Fe Depot...how appropriate as this young Canadian (North American, LOL)...spends much of his life, hopping trains all across North America. At the end of the day, I interviewed the 'whole gang' back at the apartment. The dogs were trying to take over the show, they were fun...then before I left, I filmed/documented their 'dumpster diving' collection in the refrigerator. A feast was to be had!

Exhausted, but I've gotta talk about Bray, etc...

2009-03-16T13:14:00.000-07:00

Well, it's 1:15pm here in Sunny San Diego...and, finally I'm blogging about my trip on March 6th to San Francisco to photograph and film my 19yr old Model friend...Alexander Baxter III, otherwise known as "BRAY".

In retrospect I wish I would have recorded our conversation as we both relaxed in bed. However, my concern was not to come off as fake...so much in film making, even in documentary story telling is border-line reality.

Bray was and may still be suicidal...for a few weeks we have been communicating in long emails and talking on the cell phone as he walked around the streets of San Francisco. His Mom and Step-Dad kicked him out of the house when they discovered he was doing escort work to earn money. He's been kicking his heroine habit the past few years...his medication to help him stay off of it is $600 a month.

On April 8th, Bray will have his 2oth Birthday...hopefully!! I don't know what I'll do if I lose another youth I care so much about. Life is a crazy ride, everyone with their own belief systems and ideology...it's crazy...people are controlled by MONEY, holy Shit!!! I don't understand how humanity can be so fucking callas.

My dream to have an Art Commune and Movement...birthed out of my San Diego and American experience is still underway...I'm constantly networking, meeting people...life is a little, maybe a lot strange.

Back to Bray, I love this Kid...he has some unique beliefs...I was able to feel the tension and then release of tension from his body as I held him in my arms... he was gonna come back with me to San Diego...but when we pulled up to his Mom's house...she was busy conducting a Yoga class...I could see a child in his eyes. So, we left...and went back into the city and took some color photos...the scars on his chest and arms were being highlighted by the warmth of the sun.

The many hours I drove to get to him and then the 9 hours or so to leave him and get back to my social service job...it's intense. My life is INTENSE!!!

Surely there is someone out there that cares about human life, cares about these beautiful and sometimes... damaged souls that I am so passionately embracing. Why are we controlled by money, why?? Fear controls people, keeps them from accepting other people's reality, art, life. Money seems to be more precious than life itself. Money, dollars...it's a processed object/product from a formerly living...TREE!

I love you Bray!!!

Terry

PASSION at 46

2009-02-08T06:00:00.000-08:00

Originally I was going to title this blog, "Raped & 120"...because those were my emotional words a few hours ago as I lay in my car, trying to get some sleep. The sound of the rain hitting the metal roof eventually affected me deeply, almost like torture! The day before and into this new morning was full of intense emotion. Early Saturday morning it was a peaceful experience with the rain. Matt's leather sofa was my bed, instead of my front car seat as of this day. It was refreshing in an actuall home. Saturday I left LeStat's (which is where I am now at 6:06am)...and drove by Little Jed's Dad's house. The front door was open, so I stopped by. It was only Jed there...he welcomed me in. His Dad and gf were getting some mexican food. He began to show me all the things they'd just purchased at the garage sales. We read together, each our own new/used book. Then when the 'big people' arrived, we had fun visiting...it was relaxing and very enjoyable. The time slipped away, it was becoming evening and Jed's Mom was outside, there to pick him up...his weekend with Dad had come to an end.

Ed and I talked for awhile about life, parenting etc...I was honored to give advice to this, my good friend. Gormet pizza was for dinner, at my favorite spot on adams avenue. Then to LeStat's once again as I was to meet with an art Patron. He never showed, I waited nearly 4 hours...furious I was; that's when the mental anguish began...So, off to Poway to check my PO Box. Finally, Bray...a beautiful and fragile 19 year old Model in San Francisco returned my call. We talked for 1 1/2 hours. OMG, I felt drained...we poured our hearts out to each other...I was dealing with a recovering heroine addict. He told me his life story in great detail. Captivated, totally drawn in...I couldn't escape this conversation, nor did I want to. Though it was incredibly draining, it was a good experience for us both. We traveled to many dangerous places in our conversation...the past is what it is and it takes courage to deal with it and the present; they are intertwined. Now, well after midnight, it was time to find a safe spot to park and try get some rest. As I parked and tried to get comfortable...it didn't take long for the fear to pay me a visit. My mind was being tormented with my own reality. I wanted to cry, but the tears couldn't fully form in my eyes...shaking, looking and listening to the approaching cars... Each time the car came near, it struck fear in me! I felt as though, once again in my life, my emotions were being raped! As I told Bray a little earlier, that "Life is all about RELATIONSHIPS...AND MONEY"

Thus my PASSION at 46, but who cares?

120 people with a thousand dollars each, could change my life forever and help launch an Art Movement in San Diego, California that in time...would generate Millions of dollars made from sold Artwork! Kids, young adults would be employed, films, photography, various works of art would be made and sold.

My life of social service has meaning. I am an Artist, I am a human being...I have value. PERPETUATE LIFE. Let's make ART, Let's save LIVES...embrace me, love me and I will love and embrace you!

I am so sad...Ian Vuitton is dead @ 19

2009-01-31T22:37:00.000-08:00

I am so sad, I've just learned that Ian Vuitton...an aspiring Model kid from Long Beach, California...is dead. When I signed onto myspace...I saw the posting...read it, could not...did not want to believe what I was reading...they're not sure yet, the toxicology report should be in soon. Apparently it may be an over-dose. His friends said he'd use meth and other stuff... I just can't believe these beautiful kids are just waisting away like flowers under a steam-roller. Dear God, when is this shit gonna change!!! I'm so sad...

Just hAng'N out with MiChAeL...

2009-01-29T11:37:00.000-08:00

Here's a photo from Saturday. Michael is a Model friend of mine here in San Diego. We were gonna shoot color film, because I wanted to go to some specific location and capture the dramatic clouds in the sky. But, by the time we got there...the clouds were gone and it was another "sunny day" in America's Finest City. I'm not sure which image of the 36 on the roll I'm gonna choose...so, let me wrap this up and go take a gander again at the stuff we did. Everyone in the whole wide World, have a beautiful day!!!

"HUMAN CANVAS"

2009-01-22T14:38:00.000-08:00

The Human Canvas project to benefit a worthy local Charity/Organization is progressing quite well. Many of my Model friends are re-arranging their schedules already to accommodate the mid-March Event date. I thank in advance the property Owners that are making their space available as a temporary Studio for the public to view and appreciate Art, in the making. This image I've posted is my dear and late friend, Shane Dull. He took his life 4 months after our last group show in 2003, here in San Diego. I love and respect my young Artist friends...I have many good memories. Shane's story will be told in my documentary film. Be strong and courageous...I too suffer from depression and sometimes use this Blog to vent my emotional distress, however, I'm a living testament to being one that's a fighter. Art is sometimes the "savior of our souls". Let's Make Art!

Human Canvas, Suicide & Money...

2009-01-21T04:51:00.000-08:00

Maybe it's not the quantity, but the quality of those involved in creating what is art. I am not a business man, I hate having to talk about money. Art breathed life into my existence many years ago, now it seems that the trials of expressing what's inside of me is draining that same life from my very being.
We try so very hard to say something, people listen and then they move onto the next stimulating noise or visual experience.
Why do we humans even bother at all with life, really...what do we wish to accomplish by living it out? Does our mere existence somehow affect the system of the World, it's worth and value? There is no more value in life...man's ideology has consumed our own peace... and civility is over rated...perhaps.
Money and the love of it...brings us all to our knees...and then-----------then we break! Tell me, what is "worthiness" worth? People are so fucking shallow, if they only knew the value of passion...it burns the chaff away from the statues of mediocrity... Why do we celebrate that which we have created...that which has come from our own ambitious and self absorbed propaganda buffet of thought and reason... Fuck it! How profound and worthless is the "Human Canvas".

Living in a pLaStIc WoRld

2009-01-13T18:49:00.000-08:00

This is the first blog of the new year, whoopie!!! So, I just did a shoot last Saturday with a new Model Kid named Dylan. He's a cool Character from Ventura, California. Dylan says he "loves his body"...he wants to be famous!!! So, this should be an interesting year. His friend, Cat...came down with him and was a lot of fun to have on the photo shoot! This pic is a random artistic expression...

Zach's Urban Experience

2008-12-24T17:22:00.000-08:00

Here are two images from Zach's first photo-shoot. You will notice that there is a difference in the look and feel of each photograph. It is soft light in the mud & water. I used a #25 red filter for the photo in the direct sunlight.

We had a lot of fun walking around San Diego...also, you should have seen my shoes...there was about 3 inches of mud all around the edges. Zach is an 'Extreme Athlete', we will be filming him 90 feet in the air very soon.

Since tomorrow is Christmas, I'll wish a very Merry one to the readers of this blog. Zach's a good kid, I look forward to more artistic experiences with him.

Francis at 15

2008-12-22T17:29:00.000-08:00

Francis will be 20 years old next year. He is the last remaining main character in my documentary film for me to do 'follow up' on. I'll be going to South Carolina to film him with his father, fishing out in the Atlantic. They are commercial fishermen. Francis is also a 'Surfer Kid'. When he came to San Diego in 2005 with his chaperon...he got to surf in the beautiful Pacific. He was very open with his body and then at age 15...saw his 'body as art'. In 2009 I'll photograph him as a young adult...documenting his matured body and probably get him on-camera with a girl, as he's somewhat a "chic magnet".

It should be a great experience....getting to film in his environment. Francis is more mature with regard to his view of the World. I look forward to interviewing him and letting him freely speak his mind.

Dusten is Art

2008-12-22T17:10:00.000-08:00

Today is my birthday...it's raining here in "Sunny" San Diego, California...well, it's usually sunny. I like the sound of the rain though. Just did my last photo-shoot of the year on Saturday. I'll post an image from that in about a week. The person in this photo is Dusten. I've photographed him since he was 18. He's 25...I believe that's right...in this photo. Notice the scar on his left leg and hip. He and his brother were wrestling and his left femur 'snapped'. "Ouch"!! He's been amazing to photograph over the years...

Like many of the youths I photograph, he's not a "Model", except in front of my camera. With boys, their bodies mature and grow well into their 20's. You see more of a man's body at apx. the age of 25.

Cory is Art!

2008-12-15T21:32:00.000-08:00

This is from back in June, July of 2006...when Cory spent part of the summer with me here in San Diego. I was his first photographer. It was an intense time, co-existing under the same roof. He is one of my closest friends and now a proud father of two little baby girls. He truly is one of "America's Finest Kids".

College Track Star

2008-12-15T21:08:00.000-08:00

This is Sheldon, when I met him...he was an amazing athlete. Now, he's in the Army. He is indeed one of "America's Finest Kids".

The "Gay" Kid

2008-12-15T20:59:00.000-08:00

His name is Brandon Spear, from Hollywood,CA
He is the cool "gay" kid in my documentary film.

America's Finest Kids

The Purest Form of Art

2008-12-15T12:11:00.000-08:00

The purest form of artistic expression

is experienced through

-The fulfillment in the

activity of social service

Cops in the Sky!

2008-12-13T10:46:00.000-08:00

Cops in the Sky, that's right...wow...what a night, or morning or whatthefuckever! I'm still at LeStat's...accessing the "free" wifi. I've been emailing some magazines...my "already famous" photographer friends have been saying I should be in magazines...so, when we do the fucking search engine thing, then people will fucking start reading this Blog more. Well, as some of you know...I still do social services, elder care...the past few years.

It was killing me to work in juvenile group homes. There is all this shit in the news lately, the "16" yr old boy that was tortured in 'foster care' up in Tracy, California...there is so much more stuff that goes on. I tried fighting the "System" while working in it...got fired, went to Court and WON! Got my back pay, but the thing is...it's just like politics these days...all this shit just keeps on emitting its odor!

So, as very few people know, when I don't crash at Matt's house on my days off...I sleep in my car...last night there were drunks, skaters and their gf's...the Cop in the Sky was shining his light down about 2 am this morning...I was depressed, had a photo shoot cancel on me...I treat even the most 'green' model with respect...it bums me out when a shoot cancels....it hardly ever happens though.

I thought about my life, for just a moment...the depression took me very low...thoughts of not existing, suicide...that shit going through my fucking brain...but, I finally fell to sleep. Yes, my life is a Movie...it's not all 'fun and games', life is difficult to live...that's for sure.

It was cool to briefly talk with Cory in Pennsylvania again...he's now raising his two little daughters...his girlfriend split, what the fuck!...I love this kid!

Francis and I talked also last night...he and his Dad are going back out to fish, 4th time back to back...I look forward to getting out to see him next year in South Carolina to photograph and film him. He was 15 the last time I saw him...Oh', he told me to tell little Jed and his Mom hello last night...and I did. I was invited to the Christmas party at little Jed's home...it was really cool. I brought him a new Skateboard magazine...he's almost 11 now, into skateboarding...

This morning I was pleased to get a call from Sean, he's one of the kids from Seattle that's in my film...however, he's sort of starving, living in Pittsburgh now. Fuck!!, everyone needs money! It would be so cool if I could show more of my photography online, but I'll pick something out to include in this blog.

You know, I love the cast in my documentary so much, I must finish this film for them...let the World see them and get to know them...

-If we die, do we make a ripple?

If we live, dose anyone with money care?

If we reach out to the homeless, the abused & used,

will money come our way?

The next Great American Photographer...or, so people say...

filming in Pennsylvania in 2007

2008-12-10T17:00:00.000-08:00

Here's a production still from my visit to Pennsylvania last year to film Cory and his young family. Cory is one of the main characters in my documentary which is based on my photo essay on youth culture as art.

health & foster care etc...

2008-12-03T10:01:00.000-08:00

What an amazing 36 hours or so. I talked with my brother, he's going back to Oklahoma to try help out our folks. They are living on social security, Mom's health is failing fast and Dad has his own issues. They both may have to go into a nursing home...this sucks!

Part of my motivation to succeed as an Artist is to be in a place where money isn't so much of an issue. When I can, I'll bring them back out to California...rescue them from the 'prison' of the nursing home.

Yesterday, in the NEWS I heard about the 17 year old boy that was tortured and held captive in chains...in a 'Foster Home' in Tracy, California.

I'm also thinking about the 46 million of American's just like me that don't have and can't currently afford health insurance.

Also I'm thinking of the elder care I do as my work, (when I'm not working on my documentary film production)...

The man I lived with and took care of for 1 1/2 years,...he paid apx. $100,000 a year for 24/7 live-in home care... Oh' how I wish my folks could afford this kind of care...

Since the mid 80's I've worked in the juvenile justice system, and or mentored youth...now working in elder care...and trying to make it as an Artist.

You know, it costs over $100,000 a year to keep an adult in the prison system here in America.
How crazy is that, good people like my folks are left grovling for crumbs of assistance and we in this great country lock up an 18 year old that smokes too much pot...(same money...messed up deal)...

Well enough...

...my name is Terry Smith and I approve this message!

my photography

2008-12-02T22:08:00.000-08:00

my photography is overwhelming...no one, as of yet...is reading these blogs...and I have so much to show the World...

...what is...a great American photographer?

terry

LOVERS

2008-12-01T17:51:00.000-08:00

So, it is much, much more fun to be...LOVERS. This is one of many images from my photo essay on youth culture as art.

Note: this image was deleted by Censors on my myspace site...

Photo Essay and Myspace...

2008-11-29T09:35:00.001-08:00

This is an older image from my photo essay on youth culture as art. Chris is at his Grandparent's, in the pool house. Recently I've added over 200 photos to myspace. One was removed which had a guy-n-girl couple (clothed)....all sexy and fun, an image from my photo essay. It's funny and sad too, how myspace is all about making money, using young people and their need to communicate via the computer....They will cancel your account if someone, anyone complains....it's amazing. There are myspace groups for masterbaters, this, that, whatever...

It's an American thing. The myspace guy, "Tom"...he's in Santa Monica for crying out loud...BUT, he's all about exploitation and making money off of horny little teens that are searching for love or whatever through his M Y S P A C E "machine".....

You know it's a great asset, really...for communicating with friends, networking etc...but, it's America....don't fuck with the "Money-Mongers".... Advertise, Advertise Advertise!!!!!!!!!!

So much for Art, freedom of expression....and God forbid if you take on any established social norm or money making machines of our imperfect and celebrated society....

Whatever,

terry

MILK

2008-11-29T09:26:00.000-08:00

Last night I waited in line with all the other movie goers at the Landmark theater in Hillcrest....we were all waiting to see Gus Van Sant's new film, MILK.

It was such an amazing story, whether you are gay or straight....it's a very educational experience. It's important that we see films like this to teach us where we've come from and where we are going as a Nation.

Of course it's very sad how the story ends, it's a true story with a sad ending. I'm inspired to continue to strive to finish my own story, my film about my struggles as an Artist, with a camera and the relationships of the youths I've documented as art, for so many years....

terry

Keith is ART

2008-11-27T12:34:00.000-08:00

This is another photo from our recent photo-shoot. That morning I woke up thinking about day 2 of our weekend filming and photography. 'Spider man' was what I thought of....so, we did all of the fun and wacky poses...Keith was great!!

www.americasfinestkids.com

terry

Keith's recent photo-shoot

2008-11-27T12:27:00.000-08:00

Here's a pic from Keith's photo-shoot here in San Diego a few weeks ago....this is a part of his follow up story. I filmed and photographed him as he's 18 now....

www.americasfinestkids.com

terry

my Mother

2008-11-24T14:04:00.000-08:00

Cory is texting me...he's a good friend, will call me tonight. Well, I talked with my Sister back in Oklahoma a little while ago. Her oldest daughter is getting ready to go to work to her first job...she's a server at a nursing home. Sis and I had a good lil. chat before she had to go take care of her kids. My Mother is back in the hospital. Mom is asking for me....saying, "where's Terry". It breaks my heart.....my folks have been one of the main reasons I've continued on with making this film, in hope that the sale of the documentar will net me enough money to be able to bring them back out here to southern California.....for there last days....Mom loves the ocean.

Hopefully I'll start hearing from people, I need to do the maximization thing to get traffic to my website etc....trouble is, I'm a fuckN broke ass Artist...currently.

Again, hopefully this'll happen sooner than later. You know, family is really the most important thing. So much craziness is going on in the world, we have clashes of cultures and ideals etc....really though, human life if the most valueable thing ever!!!

The whole world revolves in some way....shape....or form, around "relationships". Of course money makes the 'world go round'....but, it's really how we see the world through relationships that truly shapes 'our world'.

Are you a believer in karma?? Do unto others?? ....and I'm not talking vengeance.....we need more love..... Can we even love our enemies?? The problem is....our human race loves to hate, Wow!

I believe we should do our best to be kind and caring....now maybe I've just messed with your 'artistic mojo'....well, there are many aspects to our busy living.... I hope as my career takes off here in the very near future....that I don't lose my own 'humanity'....

Some day I will be worth a lot of money and many people will want to be with me in some way or another.....but, I don't ever want to forget where I came from....

terry

prejudice @ Target....and Skaters dissed!!

2008-11-23T14:53:00.000-08:00

I'm here in San Diego, in my car, burning fossil fuel, running my AC, listening to U2 sing...."new years day"....

....watching Skaters, the one kid's board just broke....I gave the kid with open shirt, blond....my business card....told him about my documentary... I spoke with them as I was leaving the newly remodeled Target here on Balboa Ave. Some idiot in a high profile 4x4 tried to hit one of the Skaters as he was marking up the newly painted red curb with his board.... I talked with them about Washington Skate Park.....(built by Skaters)....

....but, what is fucking sad is.....(oh, by the way......Steven Seduction is texting me from Florida....I love this kid, he's so 'friggn' cool)....

...anyways, as I was leaving Target, I was looking down.....to my left a little African American boy, apx 6 or 7 years old was walking hand in hand with his White guardians (Parental units or whatever)........just talking, nothing weird or offensive....and then a 1/2 second later I heard an adult voice say, "fucking niggers"..... I looked up to see who it was....it was an older bearded white guy with his wife......she was probably embarrased....

....it just kinda surprised me, you know....it was sad to me. Maybe because, this little boy didn't do anything that I could tell to provoke this man to say such a thing....Oh well, just had to get online here in Target's parking lot, watch my new Skater friends....and burn more $1.95 a gallon gas and rock out to 94.9 and 91x.....

2008-11-23T09:12:00.000-08:00

as soon as I figure out how to load up photos, I'll post some from Keith's photo shoot from last weekend.....it was amazing.

....more stuff is coming soon to www.americasfinestkids.com

last night was a fun art event on Ray Street....with my friend Gustaf and the band was great...yadayadaya!!!

My photo exhibit in SouthPark is coming done next weekend at Junc boutique....so if local, swing by and check it out. It was nice to get to the beach and get away from politics, starvation and world hunger and poverty for a few moments....

aint it all just so swell; met these boys from Italy....their broken english was refreshing!!

www.americasfinestkids.com

2008-11-19T19:43:00.000-08:00

hey everyone and whomever.....the site is up. We're still fixing stuff, more photos and videos will be up soon as well....

.....yes I'm watching the news, pirates, 8 year old kid killing his Dad etc..... yes, it's a fucked up W O R L D....

it's a pretty great place too!!!

amazing photo-shoot

2008-11-16T21:17:00.000-08:00

It was an amazing weekend, I photographed and filmed Keith.....he's now 18 so we did his 'follow up' story. It was in the 90's....so hot here in San Diego.

I filmed him skating throughout the urban settings in San Diego, also at the skate park.

He did his first nude shoot...he was so creative and we came up with incredibly unique poses. He is one of the main Characters in my documentary which is based on my photo essay on youth culture as art. Remember, please go to www.americasfinestkids.com next week, it'll be online.

thoughts of the day...

2008-11-13T20:26:00.000-08:00

hey everyone,
hopefully www.americasfinestkids.com will be ready to put online tomorrow. I'm so stoked about this new site and already looking forward to 2009. The plan is to be in NYC by end of summer....editing with Eric at American Montage.

Got news that my Mom is doing a little better. It's tough being an Artist, maintaining all these various relationships etc...

Some of the kids in the film are having tough time, legal stuff...too much partying etc... So much in life revolves around 'relationships'. I just talked with this kid in Temecula, he's probably going to play the drums in my documentary and we'll do a photo shoot as well. I think he can make as a fashion model....we'll see. I told him about Ryan Snyder....how I photographed him at age 13. Ten years later this kid is one of the most successful American male models.

So many kids want to have a career in front of the camera. Some have families with money, some don't...so many factors come into play....and life seems to throw you a few curve balls along the way. Well, hopefully I'll be hearing from some folks....asking about my photography and the documentary film on American youth culture....

Sean's visit to "America's Finest City"

2008-11-13T14:27:00.000-08:00

This is Sean...we did a photo shoot in December of 07 in Seattle, Washington. This photo is from our shoot in March of 08, here in "America's Finest City".